Friday, March 31, 2017

Bow Tie Cult Allegedly Not Dangerous

April 1, 2017

A new religious cult with bow tie wearing followers has been trying to recruit members on the Vol State campus. They can be seen helping each other put on the ties. It is not known if they then go out to panhandle at airports. The cult seems to be especially keen on persuading middle aged men to join their mysterious assemblage. An investigation has revealed that they have close ties (make of this as you will) to two other closely watched cult groups called TBR and THEC. Authorities say they use common language like data-driven decision making and high impact practices. If you are approached by one of these cult members, it is best to smile and not agitate them. Those familiar with the group says it is likely, given how often their parent cults change their methods, that the bow ties will soon be traded-in for umbrellas and top hats, if they get the grant money for that project.

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